I've gone through hell for a while here. I'd pin it down to a certain event, but really its just been a relentless piling on of small problems, a few medium sized ones, and a very few large ones.

Regardless, except for learning lessons? That's all pretty useless and in the past. I've been trying to refocus myself on visual arts and music again, and I'm hoping I can progress quickly and make up for the time I've lost on other things.


"You can't give up because its hopeless, you just hope more, and cover your ears and go BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH" - Phillip J Fry

"When you've done the right thing, people will wonder if you've done anything at all" - god? - Futurama

(Those played behind me, I love those quotes)

PS. its being difficult and not letting my change my mood.

Don't tell me its all been done.
Don't tell me its all been said.
Don't tell me photography or the visual arts are dead.
You simply lack the creativity to move beyond what you've seen and what you've done. You take comfort in the fact that you don't have to fucking try, because you can stand back from the point of critic and cast everything aside as trite and repetetive. You've burned your eyes out staring at the sun and assume there's no more light.

I will live in defiance of that thought forever. I will create until the day I die and I will not repeat others. There are many like me, and we will continue to write, photograph, draw, and play. I surround myself with them.

Lets make this very clear. Everything cannot ever be said. Everything cannot ever be seen. Everything cannot ever be done. The complexity of this existance robs you of your very arguement.

My existance will not mirror a single soul on this planet, past, present, or future. Noone will ever look at my life, and honestly suggest I lived according to any preset path. I may not think the world of myself, I may even hate myself sometimes, but I know I will never be a repetition. I am unique because I have chosen to reject such paths.

So, you may continue to follow your storyline, pulled from bad sitcoms and pieced together from the stories everyone tells you united us all as a common person. All the rules handed down to you that you follow without question. All the instincts and repetitions of ages of muscle memory.

I honestly feel sorry for you.
But don't dare tell me its all been done until you've done it.

Its a new year! New damages and new problems. You'll forgive me for staunching the flow of optimism from this head full of idiosyncrasies. I'm tending a little more towards writing lately and they're all ending up other places. I've placed a few here and plan on continuing artwork later.

I'd like to encourage anyone coming here to take a browse through my album, but also through my favorites. There are alot of talented artists/writers in there and they deserve a look.

Thank you
Mike

New Goals

1. Try to survive living as yourself.
2. Failing that? Collapse in a beautiful assault of the senses creating the shock and excitement that nothing brings to you, for everyone else.

2nd. Buy a new computer
3rd. Buy a really nice camera
4th. Start saving money, alot of it, for goal 5.
5th. NYC is a good idea, but the goal is to always keep moving. Life isn't meant to be spent in one town.
7th. Don't stop writing and playing guitar
9th. Start caring about how I look, dressing nicely
10th. Stop being overweight, I've already lost about 15lbs, and I want to keep that going.
11th. Make music, join a band or start my own.
12th. Work on photography.
13th. Change the world or at least start something for change.

So, Yeah. I thought I needed to add more than that, but I guess not.
I'm planning on working on the concept of combining fractals.. I did one, but ... yeah, its a little bit of intentional work and I've hidden it for now.